Yo Girls

Smoking was something we did not plan to do. And yet smoking became a regular. It became one of us. It assumed a role of its own, a character if you will, that we loved to have with us always. We were seduced by its charm and cigarettes became our friend.

It was in college when we started smoking. There were 12 of us, all from an exclusive all-girls Catholic college. We were all so different from each other that until now I could not recall why or how we became friends. Still, it happened.

The same with smoking. We even have a name for it: "Yo", short for yosi, Manila's colloquial term for cigarette. Good ol' Yo. Who introduced Yo to whom, I could not remember.

What I remember was how it was so casual in the beginning. At first, it was only during lunch that we went out of campus. Everyday, after lunch we would light up a stick and enjoy our Yo. You know how it was like when you were young and the world revolves around your friends? How you enjoyed each other so much? How you could not get enough of each other? Well, that was how much we enjoyed each other and that was how much we enjoyed Yo.

Unlike others who found it excitingly rebellious, cool or even sophisticated, with us smoking was something we truly enjoyed. Yo was a friend who knew how to have fun.

From after lunch we graduated to in between classes. Yo was always calling us, and we could not resist. It usually started with someone saying, "I need Yo.", "Come on, I need to smoke." or "One stick?" For ten minutes we would stand outside the walls of the campus and talk, always with Yo. Odd that I could not remember any single thing we talked about and yet could remember clearly the presence of Yo. Still, those were fun times.

Yo soon became the leader of the pack, bringing us to new heights. From smoking, drinking came next. It was really quite inevitable. We were already regular smokers and so drinking was the next place to go. It was either move forward or backward. And since we had no intention of quitting, drinking followed. From lunch break to 10-minutes late for classes, that was where Yo lead us. But drinking demanded more time and so we started cutting classes. Those were more fun times. Who would rather sit in class than sit among friends having fun? Yo was a superb companion. Smoking complimented drinking so much. Always, one would say, "Where's Yo? Don't forget, Yo!" or "Might as well not drink if there's no Yo."

They say drinking destroyed inhibitions, with us drinking totally demolished our sanity. We started going to wild parties, played with boys and went for all night binges without any care for safety.

We were stupid enough not to realize that things could not possible go on like that forever. There were consequences to our actions but we paid no heed. Having fun was what mattered most. It was an addiction Yo introduced to us that we could not break from. Some of us really wanted to turn around, some were still pushing their luck and some, like myself, simply did not care. But all of us could not stay away. We failed and dropped classes one after another.

Still, the story did not end there. Soon drugs became as inevitable as drinking. Met amphetamines became just another level that some of us had to climb. There were those who this time resisted. But there were those who thought that there was not much difference between alcohol and crystal meth.

That became the end for us. We were broken in several pieces. There were those who simply stayed away, there were those who had to move to a new university because of failing grades, there were those who became pregnant and there were those who got destroyed by drugs. Drugs or no drugs, we all suffered.

Years after college, we got a call informing us that Dang was dead. She was driving to a bar for a drink when she got on a head on collision with another vehicle. That night we were all wondering,
though none of us asked, if she was again high on drugs.

Years before that, I remember Dang passing me by. I saw then how drugs had destroyed her. Both of us with our hands on our friend Yo and yet I could not help but wonder what if we had not lit up that one cigarette that has led us to so many things. What if we had not started smoking?

Smoking may be a health issue but it is also a social one. Now I know the answer. If we had not lit that one cigarette things would definitely be different, definitely better. Perhaps Dang would still be alive. Perhaps some, if not all, of us would have had better lives. Perhaps some would have married better. Perhaps our friendships would not have been broken apart and we would all still be friends. There are so many perhaps, but they all mean nothing now.

One stick is all it takes to burn away so many things.

I wrote this article for the 3 Four 50 Oxford Health Alliance and this was published in 2006. If you like this article or simply interested in other health issues, please check out the web site.